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A dictionary of terms as they are used and redefined by Elias


 
 

Compromise

Elias emphasizes that part of expressing freely[?] in relation to other individuals is cooperation, which is different from compromising.

Private Session:

ELIAS: As to compromise and cooperation both of those are actions that you generate within self. They are not associated with other individuals. Cooperation is not teamwork and it is not a matter of generating some action to manipulate the other individual into cooperating with you that is not cooperation.

Cooperation is being aware of your guidelines and generating choices that do not oppose your own guidelines and also to not generate expectations of the other individual.

Compromise is an opposing action that you generate with yourself, generally speaking although not always, in realtion to another individual.


The difference between the two lies in the question of limiting your own choices in relation to another person (see cooperation).

Session #1398:

PATRICK: It's basically you were saying cooperation is the key word. When you want to take care of your own wants, do you go ahead and do it now? Or what weighs more heavily, cooperation in the moment or exercising the want in the moment?

ANNE M.: Because I would think if you wanted to do something…

ELIAS: Cooperation is not acquiescing.

ANNE M.: Right, but if you want to do something and the other person doesn't want to do it or wants to do something else, shall we say, so you have two different desires going on, there's not going to be any cooperation there because…

ELIAS: Ah, your evaluation of cooperation is to be generating compromise.

ANNE M.: Right.

ELIAS: No. Compromise is not cooperation.

ANNE M.: But then cooperation … what is cooperation? (Laughter) I have no idea what cooperation is, because it's either going to be this way or that way or forget it.

ELIAS: Ah, and this is the black and the white, and this is what I am expressing to you. You may cooperate and not necessarily be in agreement.

ANNE M.: But then you would discount your desires.

ELIAS: No. You acknowledge your choice, you listen to yourself, you understand and recognize that another individual may be expressing differently, and you exercise no judgment in relation to the other individual's choice and behavior. You follow your communications, you listen to your want, and you allow yourself your freedom.

You are not not cooperating with the other individual if you are not expressing judgment in association with their choice. You are also not compromising and you are not acquiescing.

ANNE M.: But in not enacting your desire at that point in time, and instead what you're doing is shelving your desire in order to…

ELIAS: That is acquiescing. That is compromise, which is also not cooperating. Although you think it's cooperating, the other individual experiences your energy and recognizes that that is not a cooperation. Energy is recognized immediately and much more clearly than whatever you say or do. Therefore you may acquiesce and you may compromise, and this is not cooperation.



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2006-08-11 10:55 • Link meInfoDiffEdit [Log in]